First Time

I remember the first time that I ever hooked up with someone, it was a total disaster not only that he was self centered but it was a mess having him in my life. This was a part of my life that I thought I would never survive but I did.

Someone asked me that I’m still having bitterness over him, still having this angst towards him, I would be lying to myself if I’m not. It has been a long time that after 21 years, a guy asked me to be with him, who would say no to that after those years I’ve waited.

At first, it was all nice and everything was in order as I’ve always wanted. Things ruined when he courted one of my girl friends, me not knowing that they were going steady while we were still on. I was in shocked and got very depressed of the situation of the guy choosing the girl instead of me. The guy made me feel so stupid for telling the girl that I was just having an illusion with him.

But time has passed and I’ve moved on, I have forgiven him but most of all I have forgiven myself for being stupid for 2 years, that finally, I’ve come up to my senses that he didn’t love me, he just used me.

“When you are in love and you get hurt, it’s like a cut…. it will heal, but there will always be a scar.”