Two Christmases ago

Finally, after two Christmases I have seen him again... I don't know if its coincidence but I guess its called Destiny.

I met him December 2006, before Christmas, he was introduced to me by one of my friends. At first, I was cool and excited because he was good looking. We dated a couple of times but I was disappointed because he was lavishly asking for material things.

For someone like me, who is always considering the matters of the heart than the urge of the body, I gave in easily not asking for anything in return except for LOVE. But we stopped dating, thanks to Globe Simcard, it got blocked.

Then came in fourth Saturday of July 2008, I saw him again. I felt the same thing the first time I saw him. But he did not change, he was still the same old person, same thinking with gays.

I am happy but empty inside....

Is it over?

Where is he? Is it really over for the two of us?

I have been constantly texting and calling him but still no response, even a simple text that we are over. I'm just here , left hanging, no closure. I wish I was a robot or had this time machine where I can use so I can easily move on. But I guess I'm just a human being that needs to deal with this kind of pain. Every teardrop that I cry , every aches of my heart, reminds me that I'm alone again.....

Hold me in your arms

The morning sunlight, moves gently on our bed Sounds of distant traffic, float into my head Eyes slowly open and words won't be enough But what is left unspoken burns softly in your touch

So hold me in your arms Hold me in your arms So my love, hold me in your arms

Time moves without us, this room will be untouched We're safe beneath the truth now Both safe within this love

So hold me in your arms Hold me in your arms So my love, hold me in your arms

And oh the heart in me Feels more than you can see I can't get close enough Every single day, is ours to feel this way I can't get close enough, never close enough ...

So hold me in your arms Hold me in your arms So my love, hold me in your arms

Sacrifice

Someone told me that I have never loved him that much, that I never exerted effort, which I easily gave up not fighting for my feelings. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but surely it hit me.

“It’s better to have nobody than somebody who is half mine, half there or doesn’t want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears. The only people that I need in my life are the ones who prove that they need me in theirs too.”

I came to realize that I love him so much. But I don’t want to fight alone.

“Sometimes, I think I'm part of someone else life. I share things with them, spend time with them, and gather good or perhaps great memories with them, then suddenly they will show you that no matter how much you want them to be part of you, it cannot happen. Inspite of what you’ve been thru together, you’ll realize that you’re still strangers. As you always have been…..